The NBA has a new least important stat

Plus the big news that wasn't, a fascinating coaching contract wrinkle, and two(!) tennis mysteries.

Welcome back to Club Sportico, where we break down the intersection of sports and money—with an extra bit of humor and opinion. On Saturdays we hit the biggest stories of the week, and the news that left us scratching our heads….

The Sportico Story of the Week ⁉️: This was a week of massive sports business-related news that means … maybe nothing?

TikTok downloads are set to be banned in the U.S. beginning at 12:01 AM Sunday, which could change the way we follow sports. Big news! But we also still don’t know exactly what’s going to happen to the app, or if the ban will be reversed a few days later…

Meanwhile, The U.S. Department of Education issued guidance Thursday indicating that male and female college athletes need to receive equal NIL opportunities and resources under Title IX regulation. Big news! Except, maybe not, as our Michael McCann explained. Basically, just because the DoE said something, does not make it so.

I’m anticipating a lot more situations like this, dominated by uncertainty, in the coming weeks.

The Non-Sportico Story of the Week 🎾: Has The Tennis Ball Gotten Worse? Great question. Great headline. Great story.

Don’t expect a clean answer, but do expect some brilliant lines about the way athletes think about their equipment—and their lives.

What Made Me Laugh 🤡: Synergy Sports analyst Todd Whitehead has been putting out some great nuggets using the NBA’s new skeletal player tracking data. Victor Wembanyama is second in the league in three-pointers made from five feet beyond the arc. Lamelo Ball dominates the competition with 53 one-legged three-point attempt this season, etc.

But he outdid himself in response to a question posed by Zach Lowe on X. Here are the NBA players who spent the most time tying their shoes on court this season. One is averaging more than a minute per game!